• thorbot@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Dude wipes are the most toxic masculine bullshit product I’ve ever seen. Honestly who the fuck buys that shit except the most fragile male ego in the universe

    • best_username_ever@sh.itjust.works
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      5 months ago

      I liked the answer that I once saw here: “Real men do whatever the fuck they want.” No one cares about this kind of judgmental assholery.

      • Clent@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        Yes, Real Men™️ fall for toxic masculinity marketing tactics. Real Men™️! Also, just your average mindless consumer regardless of gender but Real Men™️, too! Especially, Real Men™️!

        Be Real Men™️

    • Neato@ttrpg.network
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      5 months ago

      Agreed. Stop flushing wipes, none of them are “flushable”. If it doesn’t dissolve from light manipulation when wet, it’s not flushable.

      Bidet. Just get one. They’re like $30 and take 10min to install. Clean buttholes forever.

          • ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee
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            5 months ago

            Guess I was wrong about price… it’s $850 but it’s the Toto S550e. Bought it two years ago and haven’t regretted it at all. I’m actually going to have an electrician come out to install plugs in the other bathrooms to put bidets in all of them.

            The one I have now also sprays the front area for the ladies to I can’t comment on that but might be why it’s so expensive.

            The seat heats, the water is warm that sprays, auto open… pretty much all you need. I will say that as a dude on the taller side (6’ 2”), I really have to scoot my ass forward quite a bit so I’d probably find something else for my next bidet.

            TOTO SW3056#01 S550E Electronic Bidet Toilet Seat with Cleansing Warm, Nightlight, Auto Open and Close Lid, Instantaneous Water Heating, and EWATER+

            https://a.co/d/8Xao9AX

            • Neato@ttrpg.network
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              5 months ago

              Ah that’s a lot more features then even the nice hotel in Korea had. The instant heat and all the automatic stuff is probably why it’s so expensive.

              The second nozzle for vulvas is standard on even cheap models.

            • akakunai@lemmy.ca
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              5 months ago

              Ah man, you’ve got a Cadillac.

              I had me an old Panasonic model at my old apartment that wasn’t as nice but goddamn if you set that MF to the strongest setting 🫨🫨. The thing would clean your ass, rectum and colon lol.

    • Soup@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Turns out there are a lot of those people. They’re probably doing fine.

    • Gerudo@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      If it gets men to take care of themselves…I’m for it.

        • akakunai@lemmy.ca
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          5 months ago

          I know a guy that said he doesn’t wash around his ass when he showers because “that’s gay as hell”. I don’t even wanna know what kind of biome he’s got flourishing down there.

    • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      I buy them because they smell like mint. I prefer them over normal wet wipes. I didn’t think this was such a passionate issue for people.

        • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          I buy the product, the comment attacks people who buy the product. I’m quite literally the target group. “For some reason”

      • Classy@sh.itjust.works
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        5 months ago

        Yeah same, I got ones that smell like Shea butter, they’re pretty nice. I mean if the store had other ones branded differently with the same wipes I would just buy those lol. I feel like the only ones triggered by the imagery are ironically the guys who are insecure in their masculinity and feel threatened by a literal moist toilette.

    • Clent@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Not to go political but have you paid any attention to the number of supporters of the king of fragile male egos, their king? It’s a huuuge market segment.

    • bbuez@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Anything other than a bidet, bonus points for charging more for having more ‘masculine’ advertising

    • downpunxx@fedia.io
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      5 months ago

      when you have large hands and a large asshole that takes large messy shits, you need a larger than normal ass wipe. dude wipes is the largest asswipe on the market. no cap.

      • I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        I’m a caregiver for a man who needs coaching through the entire bathroom hygiene process and I can say that in my professional opinion, Dude Wipes are terrible. They pull apart just getting them out of the package (see below), let alone when someone with dexterity issues tries to clean their butthole with them. He ended up with a poop covered hand after pulling the bits of pulled apart dude wipe out from his butt.

        They are the largest “flushable” wipes, but are smaller than a normal baby wipe. Flushable wipes shouldn’t be flushed anyway, they’re terrible for every type of sewage system.

      • Fester@lemm.ee
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        5 months ago

        Fine, but now big gals with same need to buy “dude wipes.” Just call it heavy duty, or industrial strength.

    • glitchdx@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      They’re larger than regular wipes, and the chemicals are less irritating. Compare to cottonelle wipes which make my down there burn, and the choice is easy. These days I prefer crocodile wipes though.

  • son_named_bort@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Liquid Death? It’s just fucking water. There’s already water in your house you don’t need a fucking can with a threatening name for it.

    • 2ugly2live@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      I heard the branding was to help recovering alcoholics, so they don’t feel like they’re “missing out,” and won’t stand out so much with a scary can instead of a water bottle/glass. So they can crack a cold one with the boys and such.

      • Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de
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        5 months ago

        I’d believe this with how much I see Steve-O drinking it on his YouTube channel. The dude made a point to drive a whole ass vending machine of Liquid Death across the country to his new home lol. At his previous home in California, it was apparently up against the coping of the half pipe in his backyard so you could do trick off of it.

    • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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      5 months ago

      eh I find their tall boys of sparking water have made it so I hardly drink alcohol at all now.

      It’s worth $1.57 to fool my brain, and certainly cheaper than the same amount of beer.

      • PLAVAT🧿S@sh.itjust.works
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        5 months ago

        I had heard that’s the point, to a degree, or at least to help people with a drinking problem not feel ostracized while out with friends.

    • otacon239@feddit.de
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      5 months ago

      Okay, but their teas are actually pretty darn good and not loaded with sugar. I agree about the water though.

      (Although, aluminum is essentially infinitely recyclable compared to plastic, so is probably a better alternative to bottled water)

      • Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        5 months ago

        Hate to break it to you, the inside of cans are still lined with plastic. Still marginally better than plastic bottles though.

      • Baguette@lemm.ee
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        5 months ago

        If you have a local filtered water supplier you can bring a large reusable container and refill water from there. That way you still get the filtered water taste but cut out shipping

        • Socsa@sh.itjust.works
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          My local filtered water supplier is the fucking city I pay taxes to and it’s just fine. I don’t understand why so many people are afraid of tap water. I can download fifty fucking years of water testing data. I can get my home water tested for free every year. And you still have these assholes out here who drink nothing but plastic bottled water because it’s $5 per case from Aldi. That shit should have at least $5 of taxes added to it which go straight to the municipal supply.

          • Baguette@lemm.ee
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            5 months ago

            Nothing wrong with tap, it’s the best choice if your city has proper mechanisms to ensure tap water quality. Unfortunately not all cities invested in good infrastructure. Theres still a couple of US cities with either bad pipes or local water pollution

          • TheLowestStone@lemmy.world
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            5 months ago

            I’m not afraid of tap water but, in the city I live in, it tastes like pool water and I find that highly unpleasant.

    • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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      5 months ago

      I’ve heard of kids who have been too corrupted by drink marketing to drink water drinking liquid death. If it gets demographics who wouldn’t otherwise drink water to drink water I can’t get upset about it

    • Dudewitbow@lemmy.zip
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      5 months ago

      while i am a proponent that different brands of water is different and there is a difference in taste, ill never defend overpriced water.

      like you arent going to give me a bottle of arrowhead water.

    • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      I hope you guys are memeing because getting passionately mad over guy branded stuff that we just find kinda neat is a new level of stupid I haven’t been exposed to yet. I want my asshole to smell like mint, so I buy dude wipes. I want canned water to cut down on plastic usage, so I buy liquid death. I want a burger that’s not made of animals so I buy a beyond burger. Beyond what? I don’t fucking know I just want a burger.

      It’s not that deep.

  • letsgo@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    Oi I’m not wiping my manly butthole with those pink girly wipes. That’d be GAY or probably something equally incoherent.

    • samus12345@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      I’d never heard of Dude Wipes, and I don’t get the point of them at all. I’d probably buy Gendered Butthole Wipes, though, I love the name!

      • TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        Lol at the idea of gendered buttholes… like a dude burning down a California town celebrating his butthole’s gender reveal.

        • samus12345@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          I mentioned Dude Wipes to my wife, and she said that they were popular with the young teens she works with. Apparently they’re not for your butthole specifically, but just general cleanliness wherever.

      • areyouevenreal@lemm.ee
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        5 months ago

        I remember reading somewhere that men’s buttholes are tougher than women’s and therefore more resilient to anal sex. It was in a thread though where feminists were complaining about anal sex being degrading and potentially injurious for women, so take it with a grain of salt.

  • paultimate14@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    A few years ago my friend’s father passed away. My friend’s mother continued to live in the house for another year or so. She never worked and had to eventually sell the house and downsize.

    My friend had referred to her mother as a hoarder before. I’ve seen the reality TV shows about hoarders. But you don’t really understand just how bad the problem is until you spend several days helping your friend clean out their childhood home for sale, filling up several dumpster bags worth of… Stuff. Apparently the mother has always had some mental health problems and a shopping addiction, but spending over a year alone in that house drove her off the deep end.

    We could have opened an entire new Harbor Freight store. There were clothes in sizes I didn’t know existed. My wife casually found a pistol just shoved in a random box. It was madness.

    • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      My MIL once brought a trash bag full of clothes for my wife, from friend who didn’t want them. Most of them were brand new with tags still on them. We thought it was strange, but they mostly fit and we didn’t think too much about it. Next visit she brings two more big garbage bags of new clothes, and one of the bags had dirt (like actual earth/dirt) on the outside. It turned out that the friend was a shopaholic and had been stashing the bags of clothes under the house so her husband didn’t see, but she was running out of room, and was trying to make space.

      We stopped taking the clothes. It felt like taking advantage of someone’s mental illness. Never met the lady, but seemed sad.

    • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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      5 months ago

      I grew up in this kind of house. My spouse retrained me. I didn’t know that it was weird for your living space to smell like urine.

    • kronisk @lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      I enjoyed the movie Driveways that in part is about cleaning out a hoarder’s house. Plus it’s got Brian Dennehy in it, it’s his last movie before he died.

    • Hobo@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Just to reiterate, even the ones that claim to be “flushable” DO NOT FLUSH THEM. It’s a damn lie and I don’t know how they keep getting away with it.

      • TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world
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        It feels like a part of that deregulation politicians keep going on about. Deregulation ruined the airlines and now they’re ruining our buttholes… when is enough enough?

    • ltxrtquq@lemmy.ml
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      What? But they’re flushable*, it says so right on the package.

      * if your municipality allows it. No municipality does.

      • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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        5 months ago

        It says flushable, which is true. It doesn’t say what happens to it after it’s flushed, and it doesn’t say it’s a good idea.

      • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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        5 months ago

        From the same blithering idiots who regurgitate “everything is edible once, huh yuk!” every time inedible mushrooms are mentioned.

      • pyre@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        they raped and murdered too. I’d like to think we made at least some progress in the last couple of millenia.

    • YaDownWitCPP@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      It used to feel gay when my finger would punch through the butt wipe and enter my anus. Thankfully I don’t have to feel that way when I’m using Dude Wipes.

    • Lupus108@feddit.de
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      5 months ago

      My former roommate had gastrointestinal issues and used wet wipes because they were less irritating to his skin. But he just bought regular wet wipes not this gendered nonsense.

      • Ephera@lemmy.ml
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        5 months ago

        I see you’re also from Germany, so I understand your roommate not knowing this is an option, but bidets are cheaper and do a better job cleaning.

        Like, I bought a dumb travel bidet a while ago and even that’s a solid upgrade from scrubbing with toilet paper.

        • Lupus108@feddit.de
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          5 months ago

          Yeah, he had one of those, but he used it in addition to. I don’t know the exacts of his condition, but he was using the bidet irregularly but the wet wipes all the time.

    • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
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      5 months ago

      The veterans I know say wipes are a god-send on deployment. Dude Wipes are particularly big, which is great for a wipe-down when you don’t have access to a shower.

    • Kaboom@reddthat.com
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      5 months ago

      Theyre camping wipes, when you dont have access to a shower, theyll do in a pinch.

    • Num10ck@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      the big selling point i saw is that they are designed to be flushable. not sure if thats actually a good idea for your plumbing.

  • TTH4P@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    I was given that exact red quesadilla maker for a work anniversary. I used it to make quesadillas, ngl.

  • MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works
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    5 months ago

    Reading this on my Apple Watch, while riding my Hoverboard, watching Bio-Dome in the background, and eating a wet-ass Arby’s sandwich I smashed into a quesadilla in my Quesadilla Maker… I can’t wait until it rockets through my intestines so I can use my Dude Wipes! 😎

    • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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      Eating wet asses and smashing Dillas and cleaning up with wipes after? That’s quite the sex party you got going on there.

  • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Jumping on the “don’t use flushable wipes” bandwagon. Seriously, they can screw your home’s plumbing up.

    For anyone doubting this is even possible for a product that is mass-marketed and available everywhere, look back a little over a decade. For a hot minute we had scrubs and soaps that had tiny little plastic beads in suspension to provide some grit. All those microbeads got flushed down the drain and wound up who knows where. That is until it was made illegal.

  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Actually have and use that quesadilla press. Works well enough and saves a little time over doing it on the stove

    • thirteene@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Was gifted it for Xmas, felt hard to clean, the leg broke immediately and temperature was uneven. Glad you liked yours

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      5 months ago

      This image makes me want one. Two sides at a time?! Sick.

      Also I love my Apple Watch. It’s sweet for seeing my heart rate go up to 185 after my first 1v99 PUBG win (before bots, thank you very much)

      Fuck dude wipes though, that’s a ridiculous concept. Just get a fucking bidet and stop hating your anus (not you, person I’m replying to, but everyone reading this comment. Including you, if you don’t already have one!)

      • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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        5 months ago

        Fuck dude wipes though, that’s a ridiculous concept. Just get a fucking bidet and stop hating your anus

        I just use baby wipes, they’re cheaper and not gendered, plus I already needed them for my kids. Haven’t taken the plunge on a bidet yet

        • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          5 months ago

          Totally fair, I used baby wipes and just threw them away before my bidet. Bought a cheap cold water only bidet and it changed my life! It’s especially good for periods and cleaning for butt stuff. And horrid shits.

        • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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          5 months ago

          Something I’ve seriously considered is how you can just add a hose and nozzle “bum gun” to your existing toilet water supply valve and you just need to affix a little mount for it on the wall. Hardware stores have kits for this that aren’t particularly expensive.

          It’s definitely much cheaper than a whole porcelain piece of furniture or one of those fancy seats that probably wants access to your Wi-Fi and an account subscription. XD

          I noticed my in-laws had these things while we were house sitting for them, and dared to try it out. Weird at first, but(t) AMAZING.

          • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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            5 months ago

            No, but neither are my kids’ diapers. The way I see it is there are far worse things I could do to the environment and far more impactful changes I can make on my life for the environment than consuming 3-4 packs of baby wipes a year. I’m sure I’ll convert to a bidet sometime but right now I’ve got bigger fish to fry

        • the_doktor@lemmy.zip
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          5 months ago

          Just get a fucking bidet

          So I walk around all day with swamp ass. Pass, will continue to use regular, actually flushable TP.

  • Etterra@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    The hoverboards are for kids as far as I can tell. Childhood just isn’t the same without some way to bust your face open. Parks got nerfed by a well-meaning child safety crusade that fixed nothing and ruined playgrounds; because the problem wasn’t that the playgrounds are dangerous - the problem was that kids are stupid and clumsy so sometimes shit happens and a kid will die tragically. It’s literally unavailable, that’s what makes it an accident.

    Some of these kinds of things - especially “as seen in tv” stuff advertised by fumblebums - are actually intended for people who are partially or wholly physically disabled. But if they market it for disabled people then they’ll sell less of them and the price will go up, and because we live in America hell, the disabled didn’t make nearly enough to survive as is. So they market it to everybody with an over-the-top ad instead. Remember the Snuggy? Literally designed for people in wheelchairs and with mobility issues.

    The rest is just brand awareness bullshit and market expansion. Seriously, man-wipes exist because they’d hit market saturation and are trying to squeeze out a profit increase by targeting a different demographic. Because in capitalism, the line MUST go up. Brand awareness is just a way of saying “Hey! Pay attention to me, I’m Diet Coke! Don’t forget! Are you thirsty now? Pick me!” And the quest part? Both stupid trucks work because people are dumb.

    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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      Some of these kinds of things […] are actually intended for people who are partially or wholly physically disabled.

      After I learned this, I immediately felt bad for poking fun at these kinds of products. Normalizing their use by the non-disabled, and depicting the products likewise on TV, makes it that much more acceptable to the intended audience. If this wasn’t the case, it might sting a bit as a gift for someone that really needs it. And then there’s the economy of scale effect you mention; nobody would get a Snuggy if they cost $100 each.