Well, as the title says, I’m facing an issue that I’m not sure how to improve.
My partner does not enjoy any sort of clitoris stimulation, I tried everything from rough to gentle, from fingers to tongue, with lube and without. It seems that she truly does not enjoy it in anyway.
She does enjoy penetration very much and I put all of my efforts there, but I feel like I can’t get her to an orgasm/higher pleasure and while she is satisfied right now I fear that over time she wont be.
So my question is what else can I do? There are some other pleasure areas that we use such as ears, emotional connection, fantasies, dirty talk, etc.
Maybe something I haven’t tried on the clitoris? Maybe something else that can take it to the next level? Maybe something that she can do? Maybe just accept that this is okay? Again, she does enjoy herself a lot and is completely satisfied as far as I know, but as I’m her first I think that she is missing out on a level of pleasure that I can’t figure how to help her achieve without the clitoris.
Is this something she expects you to figure out for her?
If I were you, I’d explain that you’re open to try anything in any way that she is willing to try with you, but the initiative must come from her. You are there for her to help her figure it out, if she’s interested in trying something.
If she is interested in exploring this, she will. If she is not, well, then nothing you can do will help or convince her. Instead it could become a stressful expectation in itself.There are no expectations from her, she is enjoying it and does state that she is and seems satisfied. It’s just that I’m her first and from my experience with others I think she is missing out on a higher level of pleasure that with others always involved the clitoris.
Finds rare woman who can orgasm from only penetration without any clitoral stimulation.
Complains.
Bro just enjoy the sex and make sure to communicate. Leave the clit alone if it doesnt work.
All women are different and their pleasure parts work (or in some cases, dont work) in different ways.
But she doesn’t…
She is satisfied, but I can tell that she does not reach an orgasm no matter what we do.
My own experience is that the lower and side areas around the opening going into the vagina are a lot more stimulating than the clitoris, which makes penetrative sex so much better. This is not very common for women, but it might apply to your partner. Applying gentle pressure to these areas is good for me so that could be something to try. Gauge her reaction. I believe this preference is very uncommon, and I’ve had partners refuse to believe I like it, so I’m not very open about it anymore.
Go by her lead. She will tell you what she wants if she wants it, and you guys have open communication. Don’t over think sex, and sex performance
Trying to think of a way to bring her to be comfortable in stimulating her body in different ways… What if you’d masturbate by watching her and for you she just mildly rubs her body gently. Then eventually you can ask her to fake rub her vulva to turn you on. Kinda making it her job in a way and associating self rubbing with pleasure. Hopefully that makes sense.
Not a woman but a good question to think about is can she orgasm through masturbation? If so ask her to explain and/or show you and incorporate it into your play time
Not applicable as she does not masturbate
Very fascinating. I assume it’s a topic that has already been explored but if not it could be illuminating to do so.
Other recommendation is to explore gspot stimulation with fingers/toys and anal stimulation if she is into it.
Ultimately though don’t worry too much about this if she says she is satisfied. But the lack of clitoral stimulation could require some medical investigation. Something like her hormones could be off.
Women who don’t know their own bodies have a tough time orgasming. Get her a toy to use by herself, or convince her to start exploring her own body.
Try other areas of her body (e.g. neck, ear, nipple), try full body massage beforehand, her mental state as well as yours will definitely play a role, and there are certain rhythms and grip techniques if penetration is the only positive sensation for her. Also maybe she would be more turned on by switching roles more where you were on the receiving end. Have fun, good luck!
Most of what you suggested is already in practice :)
What do you mean by griping techniques?
I hadn’t considered the other response you got but it is very true! What I was referring to is your hand grip inside. Typically there is a bulb. If you are on top of her (prone) with two fingers inside, do a spiderman web shoot grip and see if you can feel it. Find it and grip it and work your arm like you want to rip it out of her. Definitely start gentle at first but IME the rough stuff will be well tolerated and enjoyable. Oh yea, set a towel down under her and probably a hand towel at the ready 😉
Talk to your partner about it
Couple of pointers. One, if she is on any medication, check for any side effects. That includes any birth control pills. Two, you mentioned neither she masturbates nor she has experience, hence I would suggest that she may try masturbating if she is okay to try out. That may uncover more about her body.
Also if she lacks experience, it can take months for her to be completely comfortable and enjoy it, because relaxing is not very easy for everyone.
Is it that she doesn’t like the sensation or she just can’t cum? It may be too “intense” so you can try stimulating near the clit with a vibrator instead of directly on.
Try G spot simulation- use a couple of fingers in a “come hither” motion inside. Maybe try that after having piv sex as she may be more turned on. Be communicative together.
Try other erogenous zones like nipples and neck simultaneously as clitoral stimulation and/or g spot.
Use toys in all configurations.
It seems that her clitoris is more like a regilar sensitive area with no pleasure option. What I mean is that it is still a sensitive are (less then other people IME) but absolutely nothing about it, no matter the mood, foreplay, or stimulation is pleasurable for her, at best it’s tolerable.