I mean they say he raised from the dead and all.
So is the Spear of Destiny his phylactery?
Holy Grail feels more apt, vessel filled with his semi-literal blood sound phylactery-ish to me
And Liches hide them very well. No one’s ever found the holy Grail, so this tracks
He’s clearly a divine soul sorcerer who went to zero HP one session, then remembered he had Unearthly Recovery the next session but had already rolled a new character.
yup.
and every Christian who takes communion is a cannibal.
That’s Catholics.
Who are Christians.
But only the Catholics believe in transubstantiation, so only they are cannibals because only they believe that they are literally eating his body
All other Christians see communion as symbolic, and therefore are not cannibals.
Are Lutherans catholic? I went to church a few times with my cousins years and years ago, and they were Lutheran. I snagged communion with them once, my aunt was so mad…
Lutherans would consider themselves Catholic for the most part; Roman Catholics would not.
Catholic just means “universal” though… at least when it’s lower case. Which is why most denominations will recite the creed and say they believe in the catholic church — which is a totally different thing from the Roman Catholic Church.
Umm I thought Martin Luther was like, the original protestant.
Yeah; he was also a Catholic. He wasn’t protesting against the Catholic Church, he was protesting against the corruption within the church. He was a reformer, not a detractor.
No.
I’m in the camp that believes that Jesus was a real person. And being that he was a real person, he did not rise from the dead, because that doesn’t happen. So, Jesus was not a zombie.
If Jesus wasn’t actually a real person… sure, knock yourself out. Zombie, Lich, whatever else you want to call it. Doesn’t really matter if we’re just making up stories with no real historical basis.
It’s generally accepted among secular scholars that a man named Jesus of Nazareth existed in 1st century Judea. That’s not so much a camp as a widely accepted fact, Peggy Hill.
Secondly, let people have fun. You don’t need to poopoo silliness because it’s silly. We know. It’s a joke, not an academic debate.
Aww, and here I thought I was contributing to a discussion. I’ll leave you alone now since I ruin your fun. Hopefully you can feel free to be a bit more lighthearted in my absence.
When I was in college I wanted to make a short film with Jesus as a fuckup: raises Lazarus as a zombie by mistake, needs little kids’ floaty arm things on ankles to walk on water, apostles only hang out with him for the free wine. Never got around to it.
you should do it now.
Technically, he would be a lich.
Nah, a lich is a wizard who returns to life by binding his soul to a phylactery. Jesus was a cleric, so he came back as a mummy lord.
Follow up question: if he was a zombie, would you marry him?
heavy Tina moaning
Yes.
Jesus was a hovercraft.
Magic Woody Allen zombie super hero komodo dragon telepathic quantum hovercraft Jesus.
He’s a bitch. He’s a lover. He’s a child. He’s a zombie. He’s a sinner. He’s a saint.
He do not feel ashamed!
According to the Wikipedia article on West African Vodun:
Many vodúnsɛntó practice their traditional religion alongside Christianity, for instance by interpreting Jesus Christ as a vodún. […] The possessed person is often referred to as the vodún itself.
No. Jesus had his intellect and personality intact, which zombies do not.
NB: I’m taking the Gospels as gospel, here. I do not think the man himself rose from the dead.
Who said zombies can’t?
You raise a fair point: what exactly is a zombie? To me, a zombie is not a sapient thing, so if it remembers its previous sapience, it’s not a zombie. But zombies aren’t real, which makes it difficult to define them precisely.
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