Ill start:
“Me cago en tus muertos” - ill shit all over your dead relatives. Spanish.
Not my native language but the German language has some pretty fantastic words/insults like “punchable face” (backpfeifengesicht) and “brain denier” (gehirnverweigerer).
“Dich soll der Blitz beim Scheißen treffen!”
May lightning strike you while you shit. One of my personal favourites.
Also Knödelfriedhof (dumpling graveyard) for obese people is kind of funny I think.
I hadn’t heard that one before but your opinion is objectively wrong: It’s not “kind of funny”, it’s hilarious.
People got banned from Reddit for less.
I caught a ban from reddit for pointing out that COVID 19 could kill you. This was during the height of the pandemic too.
People caught bans for some spectacularly stupid stuff on reddit and their reporting system is straight up broken, so plenty of bad shit goes ignored indefinitely.
Argentinian here, I find very funny that a while ago somebody decided to express frustration saying la concha del pato or la concha del mono (lit. “vagina of the male duck” or “monkey”). Yes, the absurdity of a male animal with a female organ seems to reinforce the obscenity somehow.
Nunca escuché la del pato. De qué parte de Argentina?
Very Belgian: He doesn’t have all his fries in the same bag / Il n’a pas toutes ses frites dans le même sachet
Meaning that he’s/she’s dumb or confused :D
Similar to “He’s one can short of a six pack”
The English equivalent being, “She is several chicken nuggets short of a happy meal”
The German equivalent is “Not all cups in the cupboard”
The Australian equivalent is “a few snags (sausages) short of a barbie (barbeque)”
A few sandwiches short of a picnic.
A few cards short of a deck.
In Bulgaria we have the very creative insult „You’re as sharp as an edge on a round table”, which I find pretty amusing
Cartoon character Foghorn Leghorn, a caricature of an American southern gentleman, comes pretty close when he describes another character as “about as sharp as a bowling ball”
Wow so much lost in translation. I grew up with dubbed looney tunes, never knew he was supposed to be a gentleman let alone that it had a regional flavour. For me it was just a quirky rooster.
My personal favourites from Finnish.
“Ei ole kaikki muumit Muumilaaksossa” “Not having all the Moomins in Moomin Valley” Used for people who are either stupid or lack sanity. There are other variants of this and Moomin one is not older than a couple of decades.
I find our version of Grammar Nazi pretty great. We call them comma fuckers.
“Ei voi kauhalla ottaa jos on lusikalla annettu” “You can’t take with a ladle if it was given with a spoon”. This refers also to a lack of something, usually a lack of intelligence or sense.
“Not having all the Moomins in Moomin Valley”
That’s totally something we’ll use. Thanks :D Also I’m stealing that. I’m stealing that insult and Americanizing it and you can’t stop me
Just be warned Moomins are a gateway to communism (Weird internet theory). Or at least to more Moomins. We literally have Moomin everything here.
In Denmark you have:
- Paragraph Knight - someone who cares too much about rules and regulations.
- Fly Fucker - someone who cares too much about something deeply insignificant.
In German there is “Paragraphenreiter” - Paragraph rider.
In the dialect of the Italian province I’m from, my favorite insult is “Perdabàll”, which literally means “balls loser” as someone who’s so stupid and useless that could even manage to lose his testicles
I thought you were gonna say it means someone who’s married.
No but for that we use another genital: we say “S’é infigá” which roughly translates to “He got pussy-ed”, meaning someone that got enslaved by a vagina
“Enculeur de poules mortes” which basically means dead chicken fucker. It’s translatable but sounds so much better in french.
I knew about “enculeurs de mouches”, or fly fucker, that is said about a person that is way too picky about useless details
In Dutch that would be called an ant fucker (mierenneuker)
A few years ago, when #MeToo was a big thing, I took a photo of an ant, and slapped the text #MierToo, specifically to mock and send to mierrenneukers
I have never heard this in my life. Where are you from?
Probably Quebec or Montreal.
Eww, gross.
spoiler
Just kidding y’all :)
Something about how fancy French sounds, juxtaposed with how vulgar the insult is, that makes it stick.
Like a guy in a tuxedo, but with his junk out
In English it’s more like a guy at Walmart in sweatpants with his junk out; not that shocking
三小 in Taiwanese literally translates as “what sperm?” But it means “what the fuck”.
the full saying is 看三小/看啥小
literally “see what semen?”
meaning more like “the f*** you looking at?”
There’s a good one in Cantonese I learned from Hong Kong movies. It translates to “Are you talking?” but the implication is “You’re making noise, but is that supposed to be human speech?” Lei guuung yeieh!?
In Tamil: சோத்துல உப்பு போட்டு தான தின்ற?
Translation: Don’t you add salt to your food?
Context: This is when somebody doesn’t react/listen/change no matter how much they are insulted. The other party asks if they add salt to their food, or if they only eat bland food, and thus have lost all emotions and have become as bland as their food.
It’s a bit difficult to explain, but the general belief is that food reflects your emotions and reactance and moods. Bland food - emotionless, spicy food - easy to anger, etc.
If you want to say that you don’t care about something (as in: “I don’t give a fuck”), in Serbian you would say: “My dick hurts”. And that’s an expression you’ll hear almost daily. A less used variant of that, but still legit is: “My balls are beeping”.
While not insulting, I’ll throw in our way to say: “I’m/You’re fucked”. It’s: “Jebao sam/si ježa u leđa”, which means: “I/You fucked a hedgehog in the back”
The disapproving and insulted look of a Canadian when you’ve done something so stupid that they can’t even apologize for it.
It’s when there’s no apology or jokes, just the look, that you know you’ve become the stupidest fucker north of these here prairies and bears ya know.
Not that it’s untranslatable, but I enjoy it quite a lot.
Поцілуй бузька в калатало - go kiss a stork on the knocker.
If you ever heard storks, you’ll recognize the dismissiveness of this statement.
Yiddish is not my native language but I think this one is so good it absolutely deserves a mention:
All of your teeth shall fall out except one that gives you a massive toothache.
My favorite has to be zkundyksicht, it comes from “z kundy ksicht” which literally means “a face [that came] from a cunt”. “Z” = from, “kunda” = cunt, “ksicht” = a rude way to say face.
Oh my god cuntface is my new favourite insult. Thank you for this!
Glad I could be of service!
When a man balds at a young age, we say ‘they were still shaving his mom when he was born’
Pretty brutal, eh ?
I dont get it.
They shaved the private parts of women before giving birth back then. (Maybe it’s still a thing somewhere today, I don’t know.)
