• jabjoe@feddit.uk
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      10 months ago

      We could do with something though. ‘Them’ doesn’t really cut it as it’s not clear if it’s plural or singular. ‘It’ is insulting.

      If there was a good one, I’d just use it all the time for everyone. Why should gender be so important to identity? Isn’t it a regression to be so hungup on gender?

        • jabjoe@feddit.uk
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          10 months ago

          It’s not clear when you say they if you mean a person or a group. The term is for both. It’s ambiguous.

          • KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            10 months ago

            It’s not. Context provides you all the needed info in 99.9% of cases.

            • “Alex is coming over after school, I haven’t seen them in forever.” Obviously means a single person.
            • “There’s construction going on? When will they be done?” Honestly doesn’t matter but obviously means a group of people.

            Sure, you need to provide context, but you’d need to with a pronoun anyway.

            • “Where is she?” Who the heck is “she”?
            • “What time is he finished with work?” Who are we talking about?…

            You’re essentially looking at the words singular and plural definitions and coming up with a reason they don’t work. (Hey, another “they” and I’m sure you picked up on the fact that I’m not talking about a singular human.)

            Can you even think of a situation that has ambiguity, which would actually come up in natural language?

            • jabjoe@feddit.uk
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              10 months ago

              Really easy and you know it. Of top of my head:

              “Get who wrote this rubbish in here.” “I’ve message them. They are coming to the meeting now.” “You mean a team or an individual did this?”

              It does depend how pedantic you want to be. I’ll dyslexic and I don’t process language like others and so I don’t like ambiguous. My default interpretation is frequently different. Human language has enough ambiguousness as it is. I’d like it reduced ideally.

              • KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                10 months ago

                “Who wrote this rubbish” is already ambiguous from the start, since it can be a singular author, or multiple. I admit they/them didn’t help resolve that ambiguity, but it isn’t the cause.

                • jabjoe@feddit.uk
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                  10 months ago

                  I agree ‘who’ is ambiguous and ‘they/them’ tells you nothing further. If we had a ‘xhe’ or whatever, you could narrow it down to a single person, without having to get into gender needlessly. I don’t need to know/care about gender.

      • TheRealKuni@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        ’Them’ doesn’t really cut it as it’s not clear if it’s plural or singular.

        Beyond the other reply about the history of the singular “they,” we also have another prominent plural pronoun we use in the singular all the time. So often we don’t even think about it as being plural anymore. So much so that we’ve created new plural versions of this already plural pronoun.

        “You.”

        “You” was originally the objective case plural 2nd person pronoun in English, with “ye” being the nominative.

        But “thou” was considered informal, like the German “du” or the Spanish “tú,” and the plural 2nd person was used as the formal. And this eventually supplanted “thou” completely.

        And now we think of “you” as singular to the point where we make slang words like “y’all” and “yous” to have a plural.

      • blind3rdeye@lemm.ee
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        10 months ago

        I’d be happy with ‘xe’ for gender neutral single-person pronoun. And for awhile I was using that from time to time - but because its rare and people aren’t use to it, using it is a distraction from what you actually are trying to talk about. I’ve stopped using it because I don’t really want to talk about it over and over. Sometimes people find it confusing. Sometime people are just curious. And some people find aggravating (because they don’t like the idea of degendering or changing genders).

        • jj4211@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          I don’t mind the concept of a degendeted pronoun, but I would vote against “xe”. Just find it unpleasant to use the “x” sound so much. Don’t know what I would like, just x makes it extra weird on top of the “weirdness” of trying to explicitly evolve language.

          • blind3rdeye@lemm.ee
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            10 months ago

            Sure. And as with a lot of English, it isn’t totally clear has ‘xe’ is even meant to be pronounced. (I assume like ‘ze’).

            Perhaps a nicer sounding version would be ‘ce’. Or whatever. To be honest, it really doesn’t matter to me. I’d be happy to just call literally everyone “she” or “he” or whatever. I’d suggest that we just use “he” for all genders, because many people on the internet seem to be doing that anyway; but obviously that would be upsetting to people who have been fighting for gender recognition. Pushing for “she” might be a bit better, but not by a lot. … So we’re probably in this mess for a long time. But I reckon if we just shake it up just a little bit as individuals, using different words and such, we’ll eventually start to see something change more widely.

            • KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              10 months ago

              In my mind I’ve always pronounced “xe” with the X sounding like the latter half of the letter said aloud, followed by the letter E.

              Though I just looked it up and “zee” is the correct pronunciation.

        • jabjoe@feddit.uk
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          10 months ago

          If you get aggravated being degendering, or of others changing gender, it makes me think you are insecure about your gender. They should get over it. ‘xe’ would be good, but I don’t see it taking off with being popularizied some how. Some popular TV show or something.

    • Dasus@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Which is why I never do, obviously.

      This is one of those things that, if translated directly, would be really, really bad.

      Now I’ve spoken English for more than a quarter century, so my mouths used to it already, but I remember when learning the language, it was rather hard for the brain to keep switching between “he” and “she”, as it was not a distinction my brain had to make before using English.

      I mean obviously I could differentiate women and men, but having to use different pronouns for both?

      Quite needless.

    • Verat@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      I think they maybe meant the gender neutral they/them, which we turn to “it” for the inanimate?

      Edit: on second read I’m not sure

      • Dasus@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        I do mean that we Finns use “se” very often in everyday speech to refer yo other human beings, and “se” would translate as “it.”

        Ofc I’m aware how horrible using “it” when referring yo people would be in English.

        But if someone asked me to translate a sentence like “mihin se [a person] meni”, I would ofc not use a direct translation because of how offensive and wrong it would be.

        I respect the distinctions languages have for genders, but I’m happy I grew up with one which didn’t have them. Language shapes thought. We don’t think of people as “it”, it’s just the colloquial form of the language.

        In Finnish, if you had to give a formal speech or something, most people realise to default to “hän”, the 3rd person singular.

        And if you’re doing customer service or addressing someone with the sort of respect you’d use titles with in English. Then you’d address the person in the second person plural instead of the second person singular.

        Just like English did hundreds of years ago, and it worked so well that in the end, English left the second person singular out of the language altogether. It still exists, but isn’t really used unless thou wants to pretend being from Elizabethan Britain.