(alec baldwins character did actually shoot a guy at the end of season 5 episode 21 but that was a full season and a half later)

Mama said I can’t talk to strangers

diddle my hall effect lid sensor daddy

You mean like maple syrup?

STOP! Collaborate an-

fuck

Ma’am, this is a meme

Nah

Keep your fridge stocked with their favorite stuff. The way to anyone’s heart is through the stomach.

My dad stopped buying chocolate milk a few years ago and now they wonder why I don’t visit them as much. I’m 34 and chocolate milk is still a great incentive. Shit’s expensive.

My aunt knew him as Billy in high school. And he pronounced his last name DAY-foe.

He’s really Bernese Anders, a Swiss Nazi sleeper agent

Their good journalists left

At first I thought those guys were lunatics, but they’re actually genius conmen.

They’ve managed to convince the network executives to fund eleven seasons and counting of guys digging holes.

For food prep surfaces, most restaurants use a form of quaternary sanitizer. They’re usually sold concentrated and hooked up to a dispenser that dilutes to the correct ratio. You can buy it online but it’s definitely overkill for a home cook.

Just use dish soap and hot water. Add a little bleach if you really need the surface sanitized.

There’s actually a very simple reason for this phenomenon. A standard spring mattress essentially acts like a giant mirror, reflecting all sorts of radio waves, including your cellular signal. This can cause interference, leading to a dead zone in the near vicinity. The same effect was documented back in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcers table.