I feel you. I pretty much exclusively play 80s and 90s games.

You want some fun that is modern, somehow ancient, and beautiful? Oh, and challenging, but if you persist it is very rewarding?

Cuphead. I fucking love that game. I play it and replay it and play it some more. I have waaaaaay too many hours in that game on Steam and on Switch. I think it’s the only game I ever got all achievements on.

You’re just lucky. I too feel like I’ve lived through multiple lifetimes. They all went by in a flash.

I’ve been hard on my body and mind though. I’m a dumb hillbilly who started having kids when I was 16. I spent decade as a functional heroin addict. Functional because I have family that gave a damn about me and I’m so antisocial that I had the discipline to have a week’s supply and not burn the it because the thought of dealing with people was enough to make me pause (mostly). Otherwise I would have been in the gutter with everyone else.

I’ve been through the wringer. Maybe that’s part of it. I don’t know.

Life is funny.

It’s so wild to me that Nirvana is old, that I’m old.

I heard the older folks say that I would wake up and be old one day and it would feel like barely any time has passed. “Young people will treat you like a dinosaur and you’ll still think you’re 25.”

I just can’t believe it.

Time has slipped through my fingers. Everything I put off a week ago was actually thousands of years ago now.

30-40 has been a month or so.

I have FO76 but I’ve never played past the intro.

I really hope they put out actual games eventually.

I was so excited for 76 because it takes place where I live. I’m still going to play it. Apparently it isn’t that bad these days. I just wish it had been an actual fallout game.

And we’re still making stuff and slowly realizing it’s slowly killing us. Isn’t that neat?

Maybe one day we’ll have it all figured out. :p

Me too. I worked in a call center in the mid 2000s and you couldn’t hear yourself think for it. Everyone was told to turn them off but no one did. Every text, every call, the Razr made her call into the headsets.

Behdehdet behdedet

Yeah that describes me pretty well, but I’m not bummed. I mean, not really.

I don’t know. I could use therapy, but I must not have been honest enough because through my drug rehab program I was in therapy and they decided that I didn’t need it any more. They said that if I felt like I did, I could tell them, but I always want to just grab my meds, joke with the doctor, and get out of there.

I don’t know. If I am depressed I’m surviving. I wasn’t surviving before. I was just paralyzed and waiting for death. I felt like a living thing though without having to think about it, but I didn’t want to be a living thing. Now I do, and my life is objectively a mess but I’m doing better than I ever have, so it’s hard to say I’m depressed when I’m doing better than ever.

Life is a challenge, and that sucks because so far for me, it has flown by.

Eh, maybe I am depressed. I was miserable when I was younger though and I’ll take what I have now any day haha.

Thank you for listening to it, and definitely thank you for adding it to your library.

That’s actually how I heard of Elliott Smith. I put a couple songs on mp3.com when I was a teenager and several people compared me to him. I listened and I’ve been hooked since. It’s funny, because after I listened to him his influence poured into everything I did after.

Seriously thank you for listening. For fun, here’s one of my favorites that I ever did. Hope you like it too.

https://mega.nz/file/tlExxbKT#qmPtk8UjrzbjKqeWQ21EQlWlDiKmZvOYwGgF0xpVbDY

And now I’ve shared two. :)

I just wish I had the desire to make friends or keep them. Every step we take in this world requires other people, and yet the most exhausting thing in this world to me is company. I can’t have a career of any kind because the whole idea of doing a social dance makes me want to vomit. It just isn’t in me.

I’m not depressed, at least I don’t think I am. I don’t really feel sad.

I always wanted to be a musician and I recorded a lot of songs when I was younger. I got pretty good at it even, and then I just stopped one day because I stopped feeling sad. I never shared any of it really. I still play, I just don’t take it seriously or write any more. I want to, because I put so much of myself into it. When I listen to a record I love, all I can do after is dream about making something that someone would love that much, but even if I did I’d never put it out there.

I don’t even know why I typed this out. Your comment just opened me up I guess.

Fuck it. Here’s one of those songs I wrote a thousand years ago.

https://mega.nz/file/c0lkyZiT#MrSCD8ZCK_W5QmU5hekJrhhP-J3tGKUHvpAR748MQ10

There, now I’ve shared one.

I say that with the biggest goddamn smile you’ve ever seen.

I mean, yeah. Why not? I don’t want to live in a city, but if you give me a cave, I’m in.

I wish I wasn’t me. I really do.

Hmm. Healthy for who?

I have no close friends and I couldn’t be happier. As a matter of fact, give me a cave, a phone, a single outlet and BAM. I’m good to go. I don’t want friends, I want to laugh at a stranger’s joke on the internet and I’m good.

Yeah, trains.

I had an amazing collection of Dreamcast games. I paid squat for them. Nobody wanted them and I got them all for next to nothing at a local game shop. Games that are very rare today, I paid like 6 bucks for.

My best friend and I played regularly when we were roommates in the mid 2000s.

He got married and moved out. One day he said, “Hey bro, can I borrow your Dreamcast and games so I can play them and bond with my stepson?” “Sure man, just take care of them.”

I heard from a mutual friend that he moved so I called him and asked him about my Dreamcast. “Oh I’m sorry bro, it got left at the old place and I have no idea what happened to it.”

I still randomly have a desire to go to his house and ask him to show me something he takes pride in and then break it before his eyes.

We’re talking thousands of dollars now. Grrrr. Not that I’d sell them, but that’s part of why I’m so damn angry about it.

91369100

I’ll never forget it.

Pam?

Archer?

Oh yeah, I seen it. Thank you though. I got caught smoking my first cigarette at four years old in my cousins bedroom. So I’m really not that far off, not that it’s any kind of contest.