Use more butter/oil than you normally would. Let the pan heat up properly before adding your egg. Don’t try to flip it until after it’s had a chance to cook a bit first. (just like you don’t try to flip a pancake too quickly)
Do those three things, no more eggs falling apart.
I don’t disagree, but I definitely do not agree fully with your sentiment. “theft” implies a loss to the owner. (and sorry to folks in the other side, “piracy” also implies theft/loss)
So if folks can sit on top of a skyscraper and look into a ball park to watch the game, it’s not theft, but they are enjoying something of value without paying for it, and society generally accepts this behavior in that case. But not if you splice your neighbor’s cable to watch for free. (is that even still possible?)
Maybe call it, “involuntary gratis”? It implies some harm, but not on the same degree as theft.