Here’s my advice on how to really and actually quit: make the decision to quit, and keep making that decision. Every time you feel yourself thinking “just one more…” remake that decision to quit. This was the only way I was successful. Keep making that decision and keep reminding yourself about your decision. You can do it.

Mi ne pensas ke numero du estas stranga.

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When I moved north, I realized there are only two seasons here: looking forward to summer, and dreading winter.

I explained it better in my other comment. In the case of Neighbor Lady, I like her and want to maintain a connection with her, even if I don’t have any real intrest in her quilting obsession.

For other people I don’t already know and have a relationship with, it is the practice of developing good affinity with others that is important. The way we treat others is a reflection of the relationship we have with our self. Doesn’t it make sense to be kind and open to my own self? I think it does. It follows for me that I should also be kind and open with others. They are not just objects that move around and do things in my environment. My “self” and other “selves” are all fingers of the same hand, to make a funny metaphor. That’s the other reason.

Yes, I get that, but it seems like for some people, possibly OP included, the socially acceptable thing to do is just an empty ritual, without meaning or purpose. That’s difficult for me to grasp, because it’s not meaningless empty ritual.

And also it’s the either/or aspect of it that I don’t like. When my Neighbor Lady starts talking to me about quilting, I really have no interest in quilting, but Neighbor Lady is important to me, I like her and I want to maintain a relationship with her. I don’t feign intrest in quilting, but because I care about Neighbor Lady i do want to hear what she has to say. So it’s not a binary thing like deep fascination with quilting / just being polite but not actually giving a shit.

I suppose I could have used less words to express that in my first post.

The framing of this question is interesting. “…or are you just being nice?” Seems to assume that being nice is not a legitimate or authentic way of being, maybe unless it is a means of getting something you want.

A psychiatrist once told me “If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that people really do think differently from each other.” I can accept this as true but it really boggles my mind sometimes when I think I have caught a glimpse of someone’s fundamental assumptions that are so different from mine.

I have met a few people who have said things like “I don’t have time for small talk or chitchat, it is meaningless noise to me.” I thought to myself “OK, you’re not getting invited to my bar-b-que then.” Which was probably fine with them. Still, it’s hard for me to imagine having that mindset. Maybe when I was a teen it might have been said of me that I was self-absorbed and didn’t care about anyone else, but I certainly did care, more than I was able to express.

I occasionally encounter people -some way past their teen years- who have no interest in any of the things that I am into, but want to endlessly info-dump to me about My Little Pony or whatever their special interest is. I listen, not because I am particularly interested in My Little Pony, and not because I am “just being nice.” There is another reason, and I don’t think of it as transactional or “playing a social game.”

If there is any point to my rambling it is that I find the either/or thinking of the question reductionist and over simplified. I think this is one of the aspects of autism that makes it a disorder or disability for some people, because the very rigid black and white thinking can create a lot of frustration when reality doesn’t conform to their internal strict rules.

Beach.

Ha! A dumb mistake, I deserved that.

Ha! A dumb mistake, I deserved that.

I had to marry my wife because all my life I had been looking for someone to jam with. I have met some great musicians, many people far more talented than I am, but it was always hard to find someone who I could instantly and easily connect that flow with and rock out together.

When I met my wife and I heard her strum and sing for the first time I knew she was special. I don’t know how to describe it but our musics can connect in a very easy and pleasing way. She has many other excellent qualities, and in addition she’s hot, but that musical connection is the one essential thing that brought us together. I feel so connected to her, she is my best friend forever and it all started from sharing musical joy together.

I keep it on new.

I sometimes randomly think of that girl on the bus and wonder where she is and how she’s doing.

Me, I’d put them in general waste. I might wrap them or put them in a sturdy paper bag if I had any, and put that in a plastic bag to contain the evil.