People who make me feel like crap or worse off then when I encountered them consistently are written off and out of my life
Doesn’t matter if its family, nobody is entitled to your attention and suffering and it does nobody any real good for you to succumb to the inevitable dysfunction it creates in your life and relationships and also material conditions.
Work on diagnosing and fixing the problem first, worry about appointing blame later (if at all).
There exists a problem. Problem requires a solution. Solution requires diagnosing problem and using reasoning to solve craft solution.
Assigning blame (root cause analysis) can wait. First, fix problem. Then analyze how/why problem happened and implement corrective and preventative actions.
A company I used to work for actually had a policy of never to assign root cause as “Human error”. Individuals actually never got blamed. Instead, it was perhaps that there wasn’t enough training, or certain procedures were lacking which could’ve prevented the problem, etc.
One time someone had accidentally broke an $8 million dollar piece of equipment. They were never fired, or reprimanded at all. Instead, the investigation assigned root cause to lack of adequate safety procedures, or something like that. Therefore actions are taken to help prevent recurrence instead of just saying “They did it! Fire them!!”
They were a great company to work for because of this.
This one is very important. This is one of those helpful rules I’ve actually learned in business environment first before I started applying it in personal life.
Forgive yourself when you fuck up
Also, if you’re not fucking up occasionally, then you’re probably not pushing yourself hard enough
Still learning this one.
I find I easily forgive myself if I immediately recognize the fuckup and have a plan started or in the works to prevent it happening again.
Kind of a “fool me once: shame on this. fool me twice: shame on me” alto its infinitey recursive so I would simply start back at 1
If I learn a lesson from it, its money in the experience bank and I trust myself to make it right and mitigate it as best as is possible
It helps with inverse thinking cuz now you know one of the paths or constituents of failure in whatever the endeavor and you have the opportunity to get closer to success next time
I have no more right to interfere in someone else’s life than they have to interfere in mine.
Avoid people who don’t share that view.
“First is best”
To avoid overthinking decisions that don’t really matter, the first acceptable choice is the correct one.
Save your indecision for stuff that matters.
I’m sure your wife loves you…
“Babe, why do you only last 2 minutes when we make love?”
“I’m first to cum! I win at sex!”
If you ain’t first, you’re last Ricky Bobby!
You’re saying your wife’s pleasure doesn’t matter to you?
Me? I was talking about YOU! Its your rule.
For making choices. It’s not a race, buddy.
Relates to intuition right?
Stay curious. No one is over educated to the point that they can’t learn.
The other side of this is that anyone, no matter their background, can teach you something.
Never admire an entire person, only the aspects of the person you find admirable.
Make it work, then make it work right.
And it’s companion for understanding how things came to be- every complex working system invariably developed from a simple working system
Have strong opinions that are weakly held.
Don’t let “perfect” be the enemy of “good”
Now that I think about it, my principles like my life may be all about engineering…
MVP is a good tool I was just mentioning. Picked it up unknowingly from coding, still working on generalizing it to my life but its working and rightly for me
Have strong opinions that are weakly held.
Ooh this is excellent phrasing of a good principle
Why does one need strong opinions? And what are they actually?
To me, having a strong opinion means I have thought about the problem space enough to understand what I believe are the important aspects and what optimizes them. Remembering to hold them weakly in the light of previously unconsidered or under appreciated arguments prevents me from becoming overly rigid.
Don’t let “perfect” be the enemy of “good”.
When I make maps for ttrpgs, I’ve started using a tool that is, let’s be honest, kinda crap. The maps I can make using it can only ever be “good enough.” This is good, because it means I don’t spent hours trying to make it perfect, and instead just finish prepping other things.
Admit when I’m wrong.
Probably my favorite realization in life was that I might be wrong. Always, no matter how confident, we are all wrong sometimes. Even about the most basic facts, we could be wrong because brains are weird. So, I just try and minimize that while recognizing it.
And learn how to defend when you’re not. Some assholes use it as an excuse to divert blame to the guy who tends to admit fault, even if it’s not actually their fault.
No.
Don’t do anything you’re going to have to lie about. If you do, don’t lie about it. If you do, make it right as soon as possible.
This is something I learned from experience. I have plenty of problems in my life but a heavy conscience isn’t one of them.
No surprise parties for you then
Underpants go on the inside.
Unless you’re Day Boy
Or Quail Man.
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- Absolutely no littering ever.
- If I drive I don’t drink. Not even one.
- No lying. Not even white lies.
- No smoking (tobacco)
- If everyone did what I do and the world would be a worse place for it, then don’t do it.
- Good deeds done in secret are twice the karma.
That’s stupid as fuck, number 3 specifically.
“Are you harboring Jews in your house?”
“I don’t lie, so yes I am, they’re in the attic.”
That esclated quickly
You could have just taken your own advice and asked for further explanation, but whatever. Being a jerk is fine too, I guess.
Don’t have your mouth write checks your ass can’t cover
Or
Under promise while over deliver
Aim to surprise, and you’ll never not impress. Unless its a dark surprise.
I can’t save the world, but I can make my corner a little nicer.
Decision results in bad outcome. Oh well, lesson learned.
As a counter to perfectionism:
If it’s worth doing, then it’s worth doing poorly. [source: a reddit user]
MVP (Minimum Viable Product) is a good tool of thumb also. What is the simplest end result you can work towards to establish a foundation/working model you can iterate over if necessary later to “perfect”
I always liked, “Perfect is the enemy of good,” and a close second, “Make it work, then make it better.”
Make it work, then make it better.
I really like this one. It’s borderline a mantra.
Look after your tools, as the old saying goes.
