When I was in the end of my PhD, everything except writing my thesis made me feel guilty. I ended up learning to find joy and peace in doing laundry and washing dishes. They became my guilt-free breaks — I had to do these things. FYI - I didn’t enjoy washing dishes before.
Washing dishes has become a really powerful part of my day, haha. Not only is it still a guilt-free break but it is a daily reminder to be mindful. I’ve noticed that whenever I drop and break a dish, my mind is not present. In fact, in those moments my mind might actually be drifting somewhere negative.
Maybe not so much a “hack” as a … lesson? Or something? But yeah, the whole cliche about having the right attitude and being present and mindful. I try to apply it in other parts of life, not just the dishes.
Yeah I was like wow I am so enlightened for the first part of the response and then I was like oh my god I am so seen. I. Am. The. Best. At. Doing. The. Second. Most. Important. Thing. I. Need. To. Do.
This is a great way to think. Some people are so frustrated with waiting in line at the bank or market. For me, it’s just another unintended break where I get to relax.
The flip side of this is productive procrastination, where you do all the menial tasks before doing the task you don’t want to do. Generally you aren’t even aware you’re doing and most people can go their entire lives never knowing the term exists, and yet they’ll do it all the time.
everything except … made me feel guilty
learning to find joy
guilty free breaks
How‽ This is perhaps the single most impactful problem I’ve in my life. I just don’t know how to beat this. I don’t end up doing anything else because I could be doing my thesis. But I also don’t do my thesis. Could you talk a bit more about how you got out of this line of thinking? Between this and ADHD I feel like I’m going suicidal. I haven’t had a vacation/gap/break ever where I’ve felt free and happy to enjoy.
Honestly, I still haven’t fully solved the problem. I wish I could give you a great answer.
Sometimes I have no struggles working and taking breaks, other times I fall into this same trap you’ve just described. I think it amounts to a lot of different factors — some weird paradoxical mix of procrastination, fear, insecurity, passion, displeasure, and overconfidence.
I’ve learned, though, to accept certain tasks as completely necessary in life (like doing the dishes) so that I am able to do them guilt free. At least I can do that. I feel you though. In a general sense, I still struggle with the problem.
I think part of it amounts to making a decision and sticking to it rather than being on the fence. Maybe that’s discipline? E.g., “this morning I will go on a run, make a nice breakfast, wash the dishes, get started on laundry, read or play music for a bit, and then finally I will sit down to work.” Then, when actually executing the first part of the plan, just ignore the ever living fuck out of any feeling of guilt. But, again, I am still putting that into practice.
Yeah, I think it does boil down to accepting the situation and just doing it. Or forcing the self to do it after rounds of negotiations and arguments. One problem that I see with this- at least for myself- is that it leads to me doing just the bare minimum and then subsequently getting mad. I don’t really know, I’m also trying to figure things out for myself. Maybe medication is the answer
When I was in the end of my PhD, everything except writing my thesis made me feel guilty. I ended up learning to find joy and peace in doing laundry and washing dishes. They became my guilt-free breaks — I had to do these things. FYI - I didn’t enjoy washing dishes before.
Washing dishes has become a really powerful part of my day, haha. Not only is it still a guilt-free break but it is a daily reminder to be mindful. I’ve noticed that whenever I drop and break a dish, my mind is not present. In fact, in those moments my mind might actually be drifting somewhere negative.
Maybe not so much a “hack” as a … lesson? Or something? But yeah, the whole cliche about having the right attitude and being present and mindful. I try to apply it in other parts of life, not just the dishes.
You have discovered the subtle art of procrasticleaning
Yeah I was like wow I am so enlightened for the first part of the response and then I was like oh my god I am so seen. I. Am. The. Best. At. Doing. The. Second. Most. Important. Thing. I. Need. To. Do.
Tidying up makes the world go round.
This is a great way to think. Some people are so frustrated with waiting in line at the bank or market. For me, it’s just another unintended break where I get to relax.
The flip side of this is productive procrastination, where you do all the menial tasks before doing the task you don’t want to do. Generally you aren’t even aware you’re doing and most people can go their entire lives never knowing the term exists, and yet they’ll do it all the time.
You can’t fix a problem you can’t identify.
You’re welcome and I’m sorry.
this is how all the cleaning in my house gets done.
What do you do when you have identified the problem? :)
How‽ This is perhaps the single most impactful problem I’ve in my life. I just don’t know how to beat this. I don’t end up doing anything else because I could be doing my thesis. But I also don’t do my thesis. Could you talk a bit more about how you got out of this line of thinking? Between this and ADHD I feel like I’m going suicidal. I haven’t had a vacation/gap/break ever where I’ve felt free and happy to enjoy.
Honestly, I still haven’t fully solved the problem. I wish I could give you a great answer.
Sometimes I have no struggles working and taking breaks, other times I fall into this same trap you’ve just described. I think it amounts to a lot of different factors — some weird paradoxical mix of procrastination, fear, insecurity, passion, displeasure, and overconfidence.
I’ve learned, though, to accept certain tasks as completely necessary in life (like doing the dishes) so that I am able to do them guilt free. At least I can do that. I feel you though. In a general sense, I still struggle with the problem.
I think part of it amounts to making a decision and sticking to it rather than being on the fence. Maybe that’s discipline? E.g., “this morning I will go on a run, make a nice breakfast, wash the dishes, get started on laundry, read or play music for a bit, and then finally I will sit down to work.” Then, when actually executing the first part of the plan, just ignore the ever living fuck out of any feeling of guilt. But, again, I am still putting that into practice.
Good luck to you and me.
Thanks for the reply :)
Yeah, I think it does boil down to accepting the situation and just doing it. Or forcing the self to do it after rounds of negotiations and arguments. One problem that I see with this- at least for myself- is that it leads to me doing just the bare minimum and then subsequently getting mad. I don’t really know, I’m also trying to figure things out for myself. Maybe medication is the answer
I call that productive procrastination.