me(14 m) and my older sister(18 f) are rly close with each other and im gonna miss her when she leaves for USC in a week and its in a different state so she’s rarely gonna be able to visit me. i dont rly have many friends at school and she’s like my only friend basically, even tho she was pretty popular in high school. idk how to deal with being without her.
Part ofadulthood is people going their own way. You’ll just get to learn that sooner. Start working on your own hobbies and social skills. Its going to suck, but its up to you to mature/grow into your own individual. No real advice as its a personal journey (don’t rush it it will take time). Most people won’t think about this development until they are in college, so the bright side is you might be more emotionally mature by then.
Piggybacking on this to say that if you join groups based around your hobbies you can make good friends that way too. It’s really hard to make friends during class because you’re too focused on schoolwork to be social.
And don’t be discouraged if one group doesn’t work out. I had a tough time making friends my freshman year of college and tried joining an anime club but didn’t like the vibe of that club. My RA pushed me to volunteer for Resident Life and that’s where I made all my closest college friends. Joining clubs, volunteer organizations, or other social groups is a great way to meet similar minded people. People in these groups tend to be friendly so they can attract more people into the group.
You should tell her this, basically, and also you guys can call each other. She’s probably also going to miss you heaps, although she’ll also have a new world to explore.
I’m also very close with my youngest brother. When I was at college, something that helped him was making plans for what to do when I come back for a weekend or breaks. Also sending things to each other, I’d 3d print neat things for him and he’d draw lots of cool drawings for me. I don’t know what you enjoy, but channeling something you are passionate about (like 3d printing for me or drawing for him) might help.
Hello, 30-years-ago me. My sister and I had a similar age gap. We had an amazing relationship/friendship throughout our childhood and it was really hard when she left for college. The good news is that we still have an amazing relationship and she is still the best sister I could ever ask for.
It’s a funny thing that when we are young, everything feels so permanent when in reality, your life is changing incredibly quickly. When you get hit by something like this, it’s uncomfortable as fuck to see that reality. Change is hard, but it also leads to and comes along with growth… and growth is good.
I don’t say this to be dismissive of what you are going through, only to say that change happens. It is a part of life that we learn to deal with because it can’t be avoided. What is happening in your life probably hurts. It’s probably scary. The uncertainty sucks. All those feelings are valid.
She will be farther away. You will see her less. She is going to be incredibly busy at times. But she is also there for you and you two will still have each other and have time together.
Of course, I have no guarantees — your life isn’t mine. But for me, it wasn’t nearly as bad as it seemed (it’s easy to imagine the worst). Just like it was awesome having an older sister as your friend while at home, it’s really awesome to have an older sister in college to talk to and visit get to experience bits of that life with.
Email? Text? Zoom?
on top of the advice others have given, i rly like their suggestions, sounds like you’ll have a gap to fill socially. i also struggled w friendships in public school and honestly if i could tell my past self something it would be that theres always a chance to change. i locked my self image in as the person who just struggled to make friends, and that somehow stopped me trying before i even started. it wasnt until later in senior year i relaxed and started to talk to people but by then it was nearly over lol. keep an eye out for clubs or sports that pique ur interest even if you dont think you’ll be any good. you have time to get good and its the easiest way to make friends. also dont be scared to talk to people in class even if its just about the assignment or something mundane. studies show the fastest way to friendship is proximity. its something i miss now that im an adult working from home :/ social situations are inherently awkward but u will grow from trying. social skills are a skill that can be developed. while your sister is busy exploring a new world of hers, you can make a new world of your own and tell her all about it when she comes back over the holiday :)
Just make sure your computer is working well so that you can keep in touch with her.
Start by fixing the fucking ‘shift’ key.
