They feel left out of society, a society that judges them based on whether or not they are a provider. Then makes it impossible to be a provider. They have been told they are worthless and undeserving of real emotional connections.

No, they fucking haven’t.

Incels are mostly straight white men, the central and most catered to demographic in our society. This does, in fact created an overinflated sense of entitlement in them that may never realistically pan out for all straight white men, but to say they have been “left out” of a society that literally focuses on them above and at the expense of everyone else is not only being deliberately ignorant, but using the exact rhetoric that pulls them in in the first place, and claiming that holding them accountable for their choices is “victim blaming” is borderline sick (and also implies that, say, KKK members are also just “innocent victims”).

They have actual victims.

Never mind that if the people systemically and institutionally left out of society and actually victimised for who they are (and not for their violent actions, like incels are) - racial and religious minorities, disabled people, queer people, and so on, are able to deal with the world while actually being marginalised and excluded without turning in to volatile and violent bigots, the straight white men can sure fucking deal with not getting everything they think they’re owed by society just for existing.

I’m so sick of this bullshit rhetoric, usually pulled out after mass shootings, and only ever and exclusively in defence of straight white men. It’s just more proof of their entitlement and privilege, not less.