Security Field Tester (Jan 6, 2021): Part of a group that organized a large-scale “peaceful march” in order to thoroughly check security protocols for the Capitol building. Duties included attempts at theft to see if we’d be stopped, testing window durability by attempting to break them, engaging physically with security staff in riot gear to test security training, and shouting terroristic threats in order to see how secure government protocols were in the event of a riot at a governmental building.
Now I’m imagining someone legitimately putting their Jan6 involvement on a resume.
Window Structural Integrity Tester (Jan 6th, 2021): Responsibilities included - unconventional team-building activities, conditioning, navigating unfamiliar territory, and breaking down barriers.
Nah, it’d probably be more like:
Security Field Tester (Jan 6, 2021): Part of a group that organized a large-scale “peaceful march” in order to thoroughly check security protocols for the Capitol building. Duties included attempts at theft to see if we’d be stopped, testing window durability by attempting to break them, engaging physically with security staff in riot gear to test security training, and shouting terroristic threats in order to see how secure government protocols were in the event of a riot at a governmental building.