• Pregnenolone@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Guys who refuse to wash their arse because it’s “gay”.

    The sheer amount of self-hatred, insecurity and homophobia caused by toxic masculinity and shitty upbringings is astounding that you’d rather have swamp ass than be worried you’re gay.

    • kux@kbin.social
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      11 months ago

      Not saying it doesn’t happen but I’ve seen this said a few times now, and have never heard of anyone who actually refuses to clean their arse. Have I just lived a sheltered life or what?

      • BruceTwarzen@kbin.social
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        11 months ago

        I did. I was talking to some guys and somehow my bidet came up and everyone found it pretty amusing and “gay”. I said something like: well imagine you accidentally touch dogshit or something and then wipe it off with a piece of paper and go: well that’s good enough until my next shower.
        One guy said: what do you mean, next shower? And i said, that’s your next opportunity to clean your ass with water and soap. Where everyone seems to agree that was also for gays.
        It’s extra funny to me that in a previous conversation one of the guys said his girlfriend hates giving head. I wonder why mr. Poopy butthole.

      • Pregnenolone@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        If you search for “boyfriend refuses to wash ass reddit” on Google there are plenty of stories for you to eat your dinner over.

  • DerisionConsulting@lemmy.ca
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    11 months ago

    Tell his wife that he loved her, because love is “gay” and “feminine”

    Firstly, audibly expressing your heterosexuality isn’t gay.
    Secondly, there is nothing feminine about 2 guys loving each other, they are both guys so it’s the most masculine sexual/romantic pairing.

      • DerisionConsulting@lemmy.ca
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        11 months ago

        Yeah, working in a factory was full of the bullshit like this, but this was the weirdest example. Things that boiled down to “No, I can wear less protective equipment than you!” were very common.

        Even if you take the “gay argument” out of things, why would you let a group of 4 divorced guys give you relationship advice?

    • Hyperreality@kbin.social
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      11 months ago

      To be fair, having sex with women is pretty gay. They’re girly, weak and smell nice.

      Nothing more masculine than two smelly men fucking each other in the arse. Dominating this guy who’s just as strong if not stronger than you, then enduring the pain of Big Jim’s rod penetrating you, because you’re a manly man who’s made of tougher stuff.

  • grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Had an absolute asshole of a Lieutenant over my platoon while deployed to Iraq. We get there and they’re issuing out bed linens. We’re all thrilled because we’re getting actual beds and not cots. This motherfucker refuses the linens because “they have flowers on them”, then proceeds to demand a cot for himself. He slept in the cot in his sleeping bag instead.

    He was also Mormon, attempted to proselytize every second he got, and proudly declared his virginity (he was in his late 20s at the time) when NO ONE ASKED to hear about that shit.

    • SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      The Aztecs, that would cut hearts out of people and fought with clubs edged with razor sharp rocks, worshipped a flower god (Xōchipilli) and a hummingbird god (Huītzilōpōchtli), those pansies.

      • SatanicNotMessianic@lemmy.ml
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        11 months ago

        I’m going to be honest here - being surrounded by hummingbirds is terrifying. Not only does the buzzing and needle beaks make you think of the mosquitos in jumanji, but they also teleport from place to place while hovering.

    • EinfachUnersetzlich@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      Wait, what do you mean by a cot? In my British English a cot is what babies sleep in and has tall bars on the sides to stop them falling out. I’m guessing this isn’t the same.

      • grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        My bad, I didn’t realize it was called by another name elsewhere. It looks just like this [USGI Military Folding Cot https://a.co/d/c0K3vCF](USGI Military Folding Cot https://a.co/d/c0K3vCF)

        What do they call those where you’re from?

        To be fair, that LT would feel right at home in what you’re describing (we call that a “crib” in the US), he was such an ignorant ass.

  • confusedpuppy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    11 months ago

    I’ve been to Gay pride parades, gay bars and gay clubs. The gayest experience I’ve had in my life was working in the trades with straight men doing everything they can to prove their masculinity at all costs.

    These men will use women as mere possessive objects in order to prove to their masculinity towards other men. By oversexualizing all women while at the same time belittling all that their partner does. As if women were merely currency for respect among men.

    They hated gays and trans people so much that they would spend an extremely uncomfortable amount of time telling you how much they were “disgusted” by these people.

    They hated on any man who who did not possess physical masculine traits. Those traits that they hated? Not being muscular. Not being tall. Not being fat (what???). Having longer hair.

    But the gayest thing these guys refused to do was stand up for themselves against unjust authority. They would spend the most all their free time explicitly telling you how much they hate their boss. How stupid their boss is. How much of an asshole their boss is. How they would kick their bosses ass. Just talk an absolute big game.

    Then the boss would come around the corner and you’d never see a bunch of grown ass men tuck their dicks between their legs faster than these guys. Their voices raise up a couple pitches and suddenly they are acting as subservient as how they believe their wives should be.

    It’s in this unspoken idea of respect for Men in Authority that you see the “gayest” trait in these toxic men. But not in a good gay way. A toxic gay trait that comes from a deep place built on oppression and repression of ones self. Where respect from your fellow man at all costs is the most valuable thing they crave. Where respect from your boss holds even higher value. Where respect from men in higher positions is held at even higher value.

    All they care about is to be noticed by other men. That’s kinda gay dude.

    The cost of all this effort to gain respect from exclusively other men is their dignity. And they are more than willing to give up their dignity to be noticed by men in positions of authority.

    To these guys, questioning or standing up to authority is gay. Standing up for yourself is gay. Demanding to be treated with dignity is gay. They will be the first ones to kick you down for disrespecting authority.

    I’ve walked into a club bathroom and saw two guys giving another guy a blowjob. That’s still not as gay as watching “straight” acting men grovel at the feet of boss in any trades.

    Ick…

    • Hyperreality@kbin.social
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      11 months ago

      Ugh. Very relateable.

      To give you an idea, I’m 2m/6ft6, do weight lifting and I’m not particularly worried about the size of my dick. I may be insecure about many things, but not about my manliness.

      Anyway, these kind of insecure men always try to out macho me. It’s so fucking tiring. I’m basically straight (never say never), but I like stuff these kinds of men often find gay, because I’m not an anti-intellectual moron who has the maturity of a 12 year old boy or cares too much about what other people think. It’s like they want to whip out their dicks and measure each other all the time. What kind of manchild cares so much about what other people think, that they can’t listen to classical music, dress nicely, or read a book? As you say, these men are too weak to have opinions of their own or stand-up to authority.

      They’re so deeply insecure, it’s fucking sad. Pathetic even. Not that I feel much sympathy for them, especially the older ones who’ve had time to mature, because they inevitably cause you grief. They’re at best annoying, but can be outright dangerous. The whole machismo, kiss the boot, contempt for the weak thing is a toxic cocktail. No surprise who they vote for either, always love to suck the dick of a strong leader who tells them they’re better than someone else.

      You know those Harvard implicit association tests? They have one for racism, but they also have one for homophobia. Certainly not without their flaws, but I took one. Turns out I have a bias against straight people. No mystery how that happened, given so many men are toxic.

    • Zozano@aussie.zone
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      11 months ago

      Kudos for being able to say what you did, while using gay as a “derogatory” word, and not fucking it up in a way that would lead an uncharitable interpretation of what you said.

      That being said, I absolutely agree with you, and the most homophobic shit I’ve ever heard came from guys who were so insecure about their sexuality, in a way that signalled to virtually everyone who was secure, that there was something about themselves they didn’t want to accept.

    • amio@kbin.social
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      11 months ago

      Sounds like a great bunch(!)

      Not sure how it relates to “gayness” though.

    • Azal@pawb.social
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      11 months ago

      Holy shit yes, this whole thing right here.

      The trade fields are absolutely insanely full of men telling each other how manly they are and how not gay they are with the “notice me” mode that it’s kinda ‘dude… if you want guys to hit on you… you’re going about it all wrong.’

  • Akuchimoya@startrek.website
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    11 months ago

    Refusing to use nail polish remover to clean off permanent marker because that’s “for women”. It’s acetone, my dude, acetone.

  • SchrodingersPat@lemmy.ml
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    11 months ago

    Besides physical violence, the most absurd thing I’ve seen was a man who bought a car after his wife pleaded not to because it would bankrupt them. He didn’t like that she was “telling him what to do.” They had two perfectly fine vehicles btw.

  • PorkRoll@lemmy.worldOP
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    11 months ago

    For me it’s between refusing to use an umbrella because “it’s gay” or refusing to sit in the middle seat of a work truck because of the same reason as the first.

  • Otherbarry@lemmy.zip
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    11 months ago

    Once worked with a guy who refused to wash dishes, said that is a woman’s responsibility. He only uses paper plates and plastic utensils.

    I never asked him if he cooked but kind of figure it’d the be same answer LOL.

    • rekabis@lemmy.ca
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      11 months ago

      That is so bizarre. Cooking and cleaning aren’t women’s responsibilities, they are adult responsibilities.

      What separates things out is the degree of implementation.

      A reasonable man will slap together a simple and hearty yet healthy meal with 2-3 separate items on a plate. A lot of women will jack that shit up to 11 and make it a 3-course meal.

      A reasonable man will clean until things are clean to the needs of the situation. If it’s a plate, it’s until it is clean enough to safely eat off of. If it’s a barn floor, clearly those standards are a lot lower; be happy if you see a broom come out. A lot of women will insist on surgical-room cleanliness regardless of the location.

      A man should never have any reluctance to cooking and cleaning. It’s called basic adulting. What we need to watch out for is to align our efforts to the needs and conditions of the situation. We men are here to be practical.

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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        11 months ago

        You really should have stopped after the first paragraph it just devolved from there on.

        • rekabis@lemmy.ca
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          11 months ago

          You really should have stopped after the first paragraph it just devolved from there on.

          Ah, yes. Because real-world experience is just so passé.

          Sorry for intruding into your ideology with facts and reality.

          • samus12345@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            We men are here to be practical.

            So as the non-toxic arbiter of facts and reality, what exactly are women here for?

            • rekabis@lemmy.ca
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              11 months ago

              what exactly are women here for?

              Why TF would I have any say in that? I’m a man, not a woman. I just observe how they behave and act, and take note of common trends and broad patterns.

              • samus12345@lemmy.world
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                11 months ago

                Since you’re specifying that men are here to be practical, you’re saying that woman are not practical:

                What we need to watch out for is to align our efforts to the needs and conditions of the situation.

                Do you see why that’s a toxic attitude to have?

                • rekabis@lemmy.ca
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                  11 months ago

                  Since you’re specifying that men are here to be practical, you’re saying that woman are not practical

                  You are hitting a surprisingly large number of logical fallacies with that statement. Nowhere did I say anything to that, I strongly suggest checking your own biases for that source.

                  Do you see why that’s a toxic attitude to have?

                  Of course that’s a toxicity that has been externally imposed on men. Chris Rock was absolutely correct with his quote - a man who isn’t providing something of value is seen as useless. So in order to avoid going down “unproductive” paths that provide no value or utility to our betters, men have to always be providing value; to not waste time and energy on things that aren’t useful.

                  You see this everywhere in Nature, where males provide value through demonstrations of genetic fitness via gaudy displays that require effort and internal resources to pull off. Without those displays of fitness, they have absolutely no value and the females utterly ignore them.