I would like to add a description (details), but it would be a very long text.
In short: I have depression, multiple chronic illnesses, C-PTSD, ADHD (btw, I could treat it with Adderall/Adderall XL, but there all drugs are banned, even for medical purposes), no money to rent on my own, poor physical and mental health, some basic things I don’t have money for, I don’t have a computer and it seems that my laptop will soon broken…
I can’t go to a psychologist because… the quality of education and medicine in this country is terrible, and it’s dangerous to say “everything” here, my mother recently worked, but now she’s left without work and starts doing some kind of crap, she was the one who brought in the income until this time; she feeds me fast food. In this country everyone doesn’t give a sh*t about each other, I am surrounded by “broken” people, this is a country full of cynics, sociopaths, and narcissists (consider mentally ill… and genetically defective, apparently).
Like this… I am spoiled, my life and my future are spoiled.
…the army of my moronic country has killed thousands of peaceful Ukrainian civilians, foreign media have been writing for a whole year that this country wants to start a war with NATO in 2025.
I’m really sorry, I don’t know what to do… I constantly live in stress, anxiety, with a feeling of hopelessness, depression, I’m procrastinate a lot…
Normal people, in principle, do not live in this country. My mother does not consider me to be a person, as, in principle, most ruSSians (these mad dogs) treat each other.
Normal people, in principle, do not live in this country.
They do, it’s just that like you they’ve learnt to be careful about what they say, and to be selfish because they need to survive.
Or they once cared, but life ground them down, so they sought escape in alcohol or whatever. Obviously, this is by design. If people were open about being unhappy about their country, this would threaten the government. Not that this helps, but maybe it’ll help you feel less alone.
I can’t help you with work, but reading, tv, gaming and podcasts can be a great help when you don’t have access to mental health services.
Fiction allows you an escape from your daily reality. English language fiction allows you to learn the language Non-fiction allow you to work on your issues. Not as good as therapy, but better than nothing. If concentrating on long texts is a problem, try listening to audiobooks.
Eg. a good book about PTSD is The Body Keeps the Score.
Oh, and obviously get a VPN and pirate everything, even if it’s for your own safety.
The book you recommended is about PTSD, but not a C-PTSD, so I think if it’s make sense…
I’m a trauma therapist, The Body Keeps the Score is very good for C-PTSD. You should also read Gabor Mate’s books and watch his interview with Tim Ferris on YouTube. It’s called Dr Gabor Mate on trauma, addiction, Ayahuasca and more. Read Richard Schwartz work around Internal Family Systems Therapy. He did an amazing interview with Rich Roll called Multiplicity of the Mind.
There’s a lot of really good content online if you can’t access a therapist. You want to start with making sure you can self regulate and self soothe and build from there. Somatic exercises will help you.
I’ve read the post and guessed the country right. Hello, fellow inmate. Sorry you share this faith.
Coding is a good investment in the future, you can read most sources on it too, so you are set. But that takes a lot of resilence to keep on going. I have many troubles with that, and I’m not well in the head too.
There are many little factories and businesses around that hire with a little to no experience and pay you hard cash. I’d consider that in order to fall from the radar. No medical bonuses but like they are worth it. It would occupy you and bring you a starting budget.
After getting some trust in yourself, you can try asking around other places. Shops are good too and they are constantly hiring. People also work in apps, but I’ve not heard anyone getting it big on them.
Freelance is another way, but you need skills. Writing works for others, doing arts on demand, checking items on e-shops, whatever. These pay peanuts, but generally easy to start if your hands know the tools.
If anything, get some way to distract youself would worth it too. People (the cooler ones), media, charities, hobbies. They are what keeps me going in spite of anxiety.
Also, some psychotherapists seem to work and be open, but you need locals who used them tell which ones since that’s a total hit-and-miss. Investigating VK groups can be a start. Expect it to be a private and paid one though. And more chances in big cities, obviously.
Переживи деда, друг.
VK is another FSB’s social media lol
Yes, and Telegram too. But there you can probably find a more relaxed market for local rent and psychologists with proofs. Avito, others, are filled with real businesses pretending to be individuals, and is sure to share information to services too. I don’t think you can get any such service without either leaking a bit of your data or knowing the server personally through a couple of handshakes.
- learn punctuation.
