You know, like “always split on 18,” or “having kids is the most rewarding thing you can do in life.”

What’s that one bit of advice you got from a trusted friend that you know deep, deep down would just ruin your thing?

  • xkforce@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    139
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    edit-2
    8 months ago

    “Just be yourself”

    Ask any neurodivergent person how that goes.

    We mask because we are often punished for being ourselves most of the time.

    • NikkiNikkiNikki@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      23
      ·
      8 months ago

      Can relate, when I start infodumping or talking in depth about stuff I enjoy I can see their eyes glaze over and they want to leave.

      • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        6
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        8 months ago

        i mean, if its any comfort, my eyes glaze over and I want to leave anytime anyone even starts to talk to me, cause I cant stand social interaction, much less having to look at peoples faces to show i’m “engaged”

          • SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            5
            ·
            8 months ago

            It may give comfort to someone feeling socially rejected because, knowing that’s something that happens, they may now re-evaluate their previous experience as not having been rejected for having themselves especifically, but because the person they were talking to was dying inside out of their own inertia.

    • Jojo@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      18
      ·
      8 months ago

      As a religious trans person, it’s deeply insulting how many anti-trans religious authorities say things like “don’t let the world tell you who you are, trust in the voice of God in your own heart” or something, and then go all surprised Pikachu when I’m still trans afterwards.

    • ChaosCoati@midwest.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      16
      ·
      8 months ago

      See also: “Just do (whatever task you’re struggling with).”

      As if it’s as easy as that for everyone.

      • ElectricMachman@lemmy.sdf.org
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        8
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        8 months ago

        I told my mum once that I hate washing the dishes.

        “Just wash up!” was the response. Yeah, cheers, mum. Didn’t think of that one.

    • SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      edit-2
      8 months ago

      It depends with whom you are yourself with. If you’re with other neurodivergent people, absolutely just be yourself, that tends to work well a lot of the time, at least in my experience.

      • xkforce@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        8 months ago

        I wasnt diagnosed with ADHD until I was in my 30s. By that time, masking had long since been instinctive to protect myself from other people. I have to feel very very safe around someone before I feel comfortable enough to start unmasking a bit because of the heinous things people did to me. That is what 30 years of trauma and abuse does and you do not fix that in an instant.