70% of survival with adhd is fighting the urge to elaborate.

Oh shit, is that a sign of ADHD? This happens to me a lot and it’s really tough to overcome, I end up jumping between tasks to do something else, remember the important scary thing, stare at it for a bit then task bounce again.

I’m really liking the posts along these lines because there’s so much associated with ADHD that I haven’t been aware was part of it and it’s so accuratly described here. There’s kind of this sense of living like a double agent or something, except in that scenario the person knows what it is they’re hiding. I’ve gone through life having unconsciously learned that the actual reasons I do things aren’t acceptable or at least not explainable so I’m always having to improvise something more plausible or different. It’s sorta like lying, but not exactly, but there’s the ever present fear that I’ll be exposed for… something.

I almost feel like this life time of training would actually have helped me really be a secret agent if only all the other symptoms of ADHD weren’t completely debilitating and would sabotage such work terribly.

imma need these ADHD memes to stop being so relatable. Getting nervous over here

I’m not sure if this is exclusively an ADHD or neurodivergent thing.

I don’t know if it helps, but this is not really a lie, and you shouldn’t feel bad about saying it. You have your own reason for not being able to do something you committed to. Someone else might have a different reason that is equally personal that they don’t want to share. “I forgot and I’m sorry” is a socially acceptable way to take responsibility without sharing specifics and potentially making someone else feel confusion or pity.

You can still work on the “why wasn’t I able to do the thing I felt I needed to do” without worrying about “why wasn’t I honest about my reason”.

Just my two cents though.