how could you tell, since npd is an actual condition, so of course they’ll act differently, but it’s used so often to describe a regular, typical asshole.
how could you tell, since npd is an actual condition, so of course they’ll act differently, but it’s used so often to describe a regular, typical asshole.
My layman’s understanding is that clinical narcissism is a pathological obsession with the perception of self (vs. sociopathy which is pathological obsession with self-interests, explained in a moment), and being an asshole is a transient state.
A narcissist will constantly have in mind what others think of them, and obsessively make sure other people believe they are good, socially better, morally superior, high status, etc. at any cost, and will topple and tear down other people to ensure that perception. Anyone who challenges that is a threat and will be treated with active hostility. They care what you think because it feeds their sickness.
A sociopath generally does not care what you think, unless you believing something is useful to them. They are typically equally focused on others’ perception of them but for a different reason. People are simply tools; means to an end. Reputation is an asset in their toolkit to get what they want, at whatever cost. Lack of remorse at a pervasive, chronic level tends to characterize sociopathy.
An asshole doesn’t necessarily mean either. I can be mean to you, or hurt someone to get my way, and that would make me an asshole. I don’t necessarily think I’m better than you and I do have the capacity to feel remorse. Asshole is a changeable behavior, or an attitude, and not a severe disorder.
TL;DR: Narcissists are specifically mentally sick, and can be assholes. But anyone can act like an asshole ¯_(ツ)_/¯
I think it’s important to highlight the obsessive portion of it. Many people care about others perception of them, whereas narcissists literally obsess over it, to the point where every though and action is permeated by the crafting their image and boosting their other’s perception, to the point where it becomes the narcissist’s only goal. It’s highly connected to ego, and a narcissist only ever does anything to chase a sense of superiority.